That's What She Said

me: did i ever tell you

  that my valentines balloon is still going strong at my desk?

  its like the miracle helium balloon

2:46 PM its been over a month

 Anna: that makes me very happy :D

2:47 PM the miracle bear that survived postal purgatory and now clings to life with every shiny cell of it's inflated being

 me: lol

  thats really poetic

 Anna: thank you. I felt like his struggles needed to be better captured

2:48 PM me: he;s been through a lot

2:49 PM Anna: though you can't say he didn't have good company through his ordeal. A summer sausage and Miso Easy must have made for an interesting exile.

 me: i was starved one day and ate that entire summer sausage in one sitting

 Anna: that's what she said

 me: please never send me sausages again

  HAHAHAHAAH

2:50 PM Anna: And THAT's why I sent it in the first place.

  it was the longest I've ever had to wait to deliver a punch line too.

 me: SERIOUSLY???

 Anna: lol

  what can I say, I'm a girl of simple pleasures.

Peanut Butter Babies

me:  so far the cranberry ginger bread is a hit

 Anna:  yeah, that was my favorite too, but I think peanutbutter in my pantry is breeding...I had to use it

 me:  lol

gross

 Anna:  i just mean that there are baby jars that I'm randomly finding without recollection of buying them. You weren't supposed to visualize the peanutbutter mating rituals.

 me:  i was picturing mold

mold breeds

lol

 Anna:  that's true, but peanutbutter lives forever

no....whole jars are multiplying

 me:  im confused

 Anna:  I only remember buying one jar a very long time ago...yesterday when i looked, there were 3

where did the other two come from?

my theory is I bought an already pregnant girl jar

and in the dark of the pantry she had twins.

If I neglect them for too much longer, I'll end up with more...haven't checked if the twins are boys or girls.

Pickle-tackular!

me:  maybe i can get her the mug

 Anna:  yep.

 me:  or the shirt

 Anna:  lol, or I can paint it on a JAR OF PICKLES

ha

 me:  NO

 Anna:  lol

i know

 me:  Ill get her the shirt AND a jar of pickles!

 Anna:  but it would be cool if they sold pickles with that on it

that's cool

just make sure they're dill pickles

 me:  haha

you can help with that part

i know nothing about pickles

 Anna:  nom

also? that should be on a shirt

 me:  hahaha

 

At least it's not for Crack

me:  i like that iw as able to get somethign they wanted

and mix it with something unexpected

a little bit of what you want + a little bit of surprise

i love gift giving

lol

 Anna:  haha

you're cute

 me:  its an addiction

all my money goes to gifts, dinners,and vacations

 Sent at 12:08 PM on Monday

 Anna:  hey, all the good things in life

and you get pleasure from all of them

 me:  yep

 Anna:  at least all your money doesn't go to crack

 me:  hahahaha

i cant stop laughing

 Anna:  I for one am very happy about that

Chocolate Misfortunes

 Anna:  I think Joy is going insane

 Sent at 4:13 PM on Wednesday

 Anna:  (pre-note: she calls her co-workers oompas):
Joy: I'm about to go postal on these oompas...it will go charlie and the chocolate factory on the bitchaz and there will be casualties at the chocolate fountain!

 Sent at 4:14 PM on Wednesday

 me:  hahahahaha

 

Talk Chocolate to Me

J:

hola

yes

lets do that

im hungry too

im eating dark chocolate

Me:

that part did not need to be told to us

lol

im eating a piece of gum

J:

lol

mmm

dark chocolate

70%

lindt's

just saying

Me:

uncalled for

A:

i want to hear about it

is it melting in your mouth?

J:

i had one square

A:

did you chew it?

Me:

this sounds dirty

J:

broken into pieces

A:

i need details

J:

i put one piece in my mouth at a time

A:

i'm living vicariously through you

J:

it melts all over

Me:

ewww

A:

LOL

don't stop

J:

then i'll have another satisfying piece after that one is all gone

Me:

you guys are so inappropriate

A:

i'm dying over here

Me:

i love you both

A:

i can't stop laughing

J:

we're just talking about chocolate

smooth rich dark chocolate

not chocolate men

A:

10 minutes until lunch

i'm rounding down

J:

oh good, enough time for me to have another piece of chocoalte

A:

mmm i can just imagine it

J:

its hard when it goes in your mouth

but then it warms up to you

once you put your tongue on it

okay i'll stop now.

A:

LOL

J:

irina is probably uncomfortable again

A:

just promise me you will enjoy it

J:

i always do!

 

Kill her family?

me: im excited for your haircut

are you doing anything funky with it

 Veronika:  no, a trim, some shape and if she makes it hard to manage i will kill her faily

family*

 me:  hahahahahahaha